Looking on the web for some info about Zimbabwe (I'm visiting the Victoria Falls in a few days time), I stumbled across an article dated the December 12 in the Zimbabwean state-owned propaganda machine The Herald about how that beleaguered nation intends to make tourism a key foreign currency earner, increasing its contribution to the Zimbabwean GDP by 400% by 2010.       Apparently, the Zimbabwe Council for Tourism president somehow expects tourism-generated-foreign currency earnings to surge from US$ 50 million to $1 billion by 2010 -- i.e. in the space of little over more than a year. He also miraculously predicts a global downturn-defying tripling of visitor arrivals from 1 million people to 3 million. He doesn't explain where the money -- or the visitors -- will be coming from or quite why they'll be swarming into the country in 2009 when they've been avoiding the place since the land invasions began in 2000.       In true Zanu PF mouthpiece style, The Herald blames the tourism industry's current woes on the West:

Since then [2000], it has been negatively impacted on by the harsh economic environment arising from warnings against travel to Zimbabwe from traditional source markets, resulting in reduced arrivals, low occupancies, job redundancies and business closures.

      Sunny optimism won't get Zimbabwe's ruling cabal anywhere. It might make for uplifting newspaper copy but it's certainly not going to save the nation. But then again, that's the last thing the ruling party's thugs are concerned with.       Thanks to Mugabe and his cronies' systematic destruction of a once vibrant country and economy, the Zimbabwe tourism brand is dead -- and is set to remain so for quite a while. Even were democracy to be restored and the Zanu PF dictatorship removed within the next few months (which, considering the current stalemate, is highly unlikely), there's absolutely no way that there would be the kind of tourism growth projected by the ZCT. With a cholera epidemic, widespread starvation, chronic shortages, rolling power cuts, civil unrest and hyper-inflation, there's a lot that needs to be resolved before most visitors even consider it a holiday destination option. Of course it doesn't help that Zimbabwe Tourism's website isn't functioning either -- although it's hardly surprising and a rather more accurate reflection of the current state of Zimbabwe's tourism.       Tourism will one day return to Zimbabwe which is an extraordinarily beautiful country with friendly, hospitable people. But, whatever The Herald might say, the day that visitors return en masse is still far, far away.       Read The Herald article on AllAfrica.com.

Across South Africa, the malls are crowded with busy shoppers buying presents and food for the festive season. And yet just across the border in neighbouring Zimbabwe, thousands of people are dying of cholera and countless more face starvation, with only a meagre assortment of wild berries, seeds and fruits from the veld to provide sustenance.       Under the brutal oppression of Zanu PF’s dictatorship and the continued post-election stalemate, Zimbabwe has steadily disintegrated. Hospitals have closed. Supermarkets are empty. Raw sewage spills into potholed roads. The politicians continue their interminable bickering. Doubtless both Tsvangirai and Mugabe won’t be going hungry this Christmas. But most of their countrymen (the ones who haven’t fled to safer, saner shores) will.       Zimbabwe is a disaster. It is time for South Africa, and the rest of the world, to step in before any more innocent lives are lost. The unnecessary, intense sufferings of millions of Zimbabweans must come to an end.       Firstly, Zanu PF must no longer govern. Having systematically destroyed a country and having lost the March 29 election (despite blatant vote-rigging and intimidation), those thugs have no claims to being a part of the new Zimbabwean government.       An interim government must be installed by the United Nations, supported by South Africa and other regional players. This government, staffed by non-political technocrats, can handle humanitarian operations to ensure the rollout food supplies and healthcare countrywide.       The UN must demobilise the security and army, and provide a “peacekeeper” contingent of soldiers and police to ensure safety and security.       And then, some time next year, proper elections must be held – free and fair elections implemented and monitored by the international community.       To those who think this is an internal affair, or must be resolved “by Zimbabweans”, the time is long past for such trifling excuses. Quiet diplomacy and regional SADC involvement has been an abject failure – and has merely propped up an illegitimate and wicked regime hell-bent on remaining in power. Of course that was Thabo Mbeki’s intention all along. His inaction on Zimbabwe casts a dark, bloodstained shadow on his presidential record and role as so-called “mediator”.       President Motlanthe must act in the spirit of our constitution and democracy and do his utmost to resolve the situation. This is long overdue. So much suffering could have been avoided. And yet so much suffering still can be avoided.       It is the festive season and yet Zimbabwe has absolutely nothing to celebrate. This Christmas, let us not forget the ongoing crisis – the hunger and pain and misery – across our border.

One of the time waster sites that I read published, 6 Real-Life Vigilantes Crazier Than Batman and 5 Real World Criminals Who Were Certified Super-Villains. They're pretty wild lists, but maybe a bit incomplete, because if they're going to mention Papa Doc as a Super-Villian, then they should probably list Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo who is the current president-for-life of Equatorial Guinea. If you're not familiar with this country, that's not surprising. While it's on the west coast of Africa, it's rather small and it happens to be the only country in Africa with Spanish as its official language. Not a lot of information comes out of the country and this is mostly due to Obiang who seems quite happy to run the place for nearly 30 years and amass $600 million in ill-gotten money from plundering the state in a small homage to Mobutu.       But beyond being corrupt, the man is a bit nuts and drunk with power. For instance he believes that he is "in permanent contact with the Almighty" and "can decide to kill without anyone calling him to account and without going to hell." Of course this only natural given that he declared himself to be a god, although he still swears he's Catholic. I suppose it's in case the whole self-deification thing doesn't pan out. Then of course there are the rumors circulating that he's a cannibal as well, although that's most likely just to keep the masses in line. It's rather surprising how Robert Mugabe gets all the press these days, when Obiang is far, far worse.       Maybe it's because of this or maybe it was just because Spain, South Africa, and maybe the US and UK thought that they wanted to have more of a hand in governing the third largest oil producing country in Sub-Saharan Africa that they decided to set in motion and assassination attempt. And if it wasn't enough to have several large countries backing this, why not toss in Mark Thatcher (yeah, the son of former British Prime Minister, Marget Thatcher) in to the mix as well. But wait, that's not really enough. Let's hire one of the most impressive mercenaries I've ever heard of in the form of Simon Mann. Take a look at that guy's Wikipedia page. While he's more mercenary than vigilante, he still should have been on one of the lists I mentioned earlier. He's like a real life manifestation of any lead character in Michael Bay film.       I'm not going to get in to intricacies of how the whole assassination plot when down, but needless to say, it failed and failed hard when the mercenaries involved were in Zimbabwe of all places and got captured by Mugabe's forces. If you want to read all the gritty details, take a look at CNN and Reuters . Then read up on Executive Outcomes. Due to the fact that Mann was extradited to Equatorial Guinea and is now serving time in Black Beach Prison (where he'll probably die), I see a good chance of a movie being made of this beyond the British production of Coup! in 2006. Something big. Something with a lot of money. Something with Michael Bay as the director perhaps? I like the odds.